April 24, 2007
As promised earlier…
Unfortunately, I cannot report another four chapters in the book completed. I did do an interview with Brad Thompson that I intend to use a good portion of for the book. He is our family minister and is also the father of a medically fragile daughter. He had a lot of wonderful things to contribute. The book has morphed a little bit from just Canon’s story to include some hopefully meaty intermissions with information for and about families who might be dealing with a medical crisis. I am realizing that I really can’t do a lot of writing unless I have hours of uninterrupted time – and that just never happens! It’s never far from my mind; and it’s not that I can’t do a little bit here and there, but it’s not as productive.
Canon is doing wonderfully! I have been so proud of him lately. He’s learning so much and asking so many funny questions. I could tell a dozen funny stories about things he has said lately, but I’ll keep it to two or three. One day recently I had to put him in time-out in his room for being ugly to Creed. After his two minutes on his bed, I sat him on my lap and hugged him. As he stopped crying, I decided to take advantage of a teachable moment.
“Are you sad, Canon?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said, sniffling.
“I’m sad, too.”
“You’re sad, Mommy?”
“Yes. It makes me sad when you are not nice to Creed. Do you know who else is sad?” I asked him.
“Who?”
“God is sad, too. It makes God sad when you hurt Creed.”
“Why, Mommy?”
“Because God loves Creed just like he loves you.”
“But why does God love Creed?”
“Because He made Creed with his hands,” I explained, thinking I am really hammering this point across.
Canon thought for a minute and then asked, “But Mommy… why did God make Creed?”
Though that was a logical next question for him, it caught me totally off-guard and I might have stammered a bit, but, yes, I did give him many reasons why God made Creed!
Actually tonight I was teaching Canon’s Bible class and asked the kids about their friends (we were talking about Jesus having 12 good friends called apostles). I asked each child what was the name of their favorite friend. Canon said “Creed.” Then after class was over, someone at church told me that when Canon came out of our classroom and saw Creed playing in the toddler play area, he ran over and gave Creed a big hug and said, “Creed! I am so proud of you, Creed.” I just beamed when they told me that!
We get a big kick out of all the knock-knock jokes. He prefaces the jokes by going around the table asking “Can you laugh?” The high-school group from church that comes over every Sunday night was the subject of his recent comedy act. They were sitting around the table eating chips and hot sauce while he was eating supper. He began asking, “Kelsey, can you laugh?” Kelsey would oblige him a chuckle or two. Then he would move on. “Dalton, can you laugh?” “Ha, ha, ha,” Dalton would give him. “Landon, can you laugh?” Landon would tell him no. As soon as someone tells him that they can’t laugh, Canon’s face just falls and he says, “Aww. His laugh is broken. That is so sad.” Then he tells his joke. “Knock, knock” “Who’s there?” “Daddy.” “Daddy who?” “Daddy-banana!” When Landon laughs, Canon also laughs triumphantly and proclaims “I fixed his laugh!” He changes the name every time, but I’ve never known him to change the banana part. I don’t know why. I guess banana is just a funny word!
So that’s proof of his inquisitive nature, brotherly love, sense of humor, and let’s see… I can also report a very healthy self-esteem. This morning after he brushed his teeth, he smiled at himself in the mirror and said, “I am so beautiful!” He didn’t know I was watching him in the hallway, and I startled him when I started laughing! A lot of things he says are things that he has heard someone else say first and so it’s funny when it’s out of context or something. But I can assure you that he has NOT heard me say THAT after I brush my teeth!
Creed’s personality is becoming more unique every day. He springs from the bath tub hollering “Towel on! Towel on! Towel on!”. Then wearing his hooded towel, he runs naked and squealing through the house, trailing the towel behind. He quickly returns to the bathroom pointing and calling “Canon! Canon!” I dry Canon as fast as I can so Canon can join him on their nightly hooded hero bonding ritual.
Creed has taken a special liking to the time-honored custom of kissing a boo-boo. If he falls down or bumps something, it isn’t long before I hear a small voice say “Kiss it?” and I bend down and plant a big one on him. I have even witnessed Creed asking Canon to “kiss it?” and Canon, without hesitation, kissing Creed’s pajama-footed toe. However, he has put his own interesting spin on the practice. If he understands that it was a specific object that caused the painful offense, such as landing on a toy airplane after a fall or bumping his head while trying to get a specific Little Person out from under his bed, the kiss should be directed to the object instead of him personally. So, as confused as I have been about the logic there, I have nevertheless kissed many a racecar, screwdriver, shoe, fork…
The boys are different in many ways and I relish all of them, really. I just love watching the God-given individuality emerge from two human beings that have the same genetic make-up and are raised generally the same way. Creed would rather toss a ball around than play with the trains with Canon (he tries to compromise by throwing the trains that Canon is playing with – Canon’s not a big fan of that compromise). Canon was never that kid in the grocery store who couldn’t yelling “Hi!” to anyone who walked within a 15 foot radius of our basket. Creed is like five of those kids running for office. Canon does not like to have crumbs on his pants or lemonade on his hands while he’s eating – he quickly throws up the white flag and says “Mommy, I made a big mess.” However, Creed does not thoroughly enjoy a meal unless someone could guess everything that he was served on his plate solely from looking at his hair.
I love them so much.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
We just returned home from the March of Dimes walk. It was wonderful, as always. This year I had shirts made for Canon and Creed to wear. I have always admired all the personalized shirts that some people make for the walk, and I was very pleased with how ours turned out.
For the first time, one mile of the walk was designated Memory Mile and throughout that segment there were banners next to the road with the names of babies that did not make it. Amberly’s was the first banner we came to. My heart skipped when we saw it. I can’t really explain how awesome it was to see it. The closest I could come would be to say that it felt like a public affirmation of her. Like everyone was saying, “She’s not just a figment in your memory, Chandra. She really was here. She was a part of the world for a while.” Creed walked right up to it and just sat down in front of it to study it. Moments like that are so hard. I miss her so much.
Drew’s folks came up from Abilene to walk with us – they try to come every year. (And thank you, MamaLu, for all the wonderful pictures!) And the McIntoshes came and walked with us, too. So we had some very special guests today! I got to see Haley, the little girl who was just a few ounces bigger than Amberly that was in the bed next to her in the Minimal Stimulation room at NICU. Haley is now a beautiful, vibrant kindergartener. I also saw Tina and her family. She designed the beautiful banners this year, and has become an active part of the March of Dimes as a tribute to her daughter, Amber, who fought to survive with her twin sister, but went to Heaven six years ago. I also got to see Misty, Chris, and Hadley for a little bit. Hadley is the twin that was “escorted” by her brother, Ethan, before he went to Heaven. She’ll be a year old on June 20. Ethan’s was the last banner of Memory Mile, he and Amberly like bookends for the many in between. After the walk, Misty gave me a lingering hug that only a few people can give. It’s nice to have a day that I can count on being less distracted and let my soul soak up all the emotional medicine I can get.
Many blessings,
Chandra
“We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us…” Romans 5:3-5
Dayton McIntosh helping
out with the stroller
Canon and Daddo quality
time
All Aboard! After this inaugural
train ride with Dayton and Dane, Canon would have preferred to just ride the
train all day long!
Canon and Creed taking a relaxing ride on the boats