Chandra's Journal
November 30, 2006
It’s a Snow Day! For the first time in the six years that we have lived in Amarillo, school has been cancelled because of snow today! What a blessing it was today to have Drew home for a freebie day (well, technically we’ll pay for it in May, but that’s too far away to think about today). When the boys got up this morning they just stood in awe at the sight from our back windows out into the backyard. I brought in a big bowl full of snow and let them eat out of it and play in it with spoons. I even dropped a few drops of blue food coloring in it and they stirred it up until it turned a cotton candy blue color. Then we made blue Snow Ice Cream out of it! Of course, Drew and I ate more of it than Canon and Creed did! Then we bundled them up in coats, hats, and mittens, and we took them out in the backyard to walk in it. That lasted about four minutes. You see, it’s still only about 35 degrees outside, so after they put a few footprints in the snow, they were ready to come back inside and sit by the fire.
Four days ago we remembered Jordan and prayed for his family. It was a very somber day and one that we will continue to memorialize in our house with nothing but respect.
It was hard (for me anyway) to then switch gears so quickly and intentionally make “Transplant Day” a happy celebration for our family. But I want Canon and Creed to understand what God did for us that day and celebrate the blessing of life that it is. So after supper that night, we made chocolate cupcakes, iced them carefully and sat back down at the table. We brought out the birthday hats (only because they were the only festive hats I have) and we each had a cupcake. All four of us had our own candle to blow out – I figure we ALL deserved a candle! We said another prayer of thanksgiving and blessings on Jordan’s family, and then we sang “Happy Transplant Day” to Canon! It was truly amazing. As I looked around my kitchen table I realized again how much has been given to me. Praise God.
Canon’s one year post-transplant follow-up appointment came and went the day before Thanksgiving. They did the routine lab work along with some cholesterol checks. They also did an ECHO to keep watch for any signs of heart disease. In a few cases of GSD4, patients have also developed heart disease or distress. There were no red flags of any cardiac complications at this time. God is so good. His doctors are so happy with his health and progress and didn’t set up a return appointment until June! They want us to go to Lubbock to see Dr. Higgins in February.
My mom drove over to Houston and picked us up from the hospital after Canon’s appointment. We left Houston (along with about half a million other people) on the way to College Station to pick up my brother, then en route to the family Thanksgiving festivities at my parents’ house in Austin. It was wonderful! My whole family was together – all umpteen of us! I got to meet my new week-old nephew, Kason, and spend as much quality time as I could with my brothers and sister. Being so far away certainly makes the times that we’re all together so significant. It feels like a puzzle all coming together. It made me especially remember families that met this Thanksgiving without a piece of their puzzle – Jordan’s family, Rhonda’s family got together without her dad, and Tracy’s family was missing her brother this year. Rhonda, Tracy, and I stood for just a minute in the foyer at church last night talking about it just briefly. Tracy said that having to face Jake’s absence at times like that just reiterate to her that we are not meant to be completely at peace here in this troubled world… this is not our home. What a Thanksgiving we will have when we are in our true home and all the pieces finally fit together.
And so Christmas is now around the corner. I have to admit that I’m more in the ‘spirit’ this year than ever before. My boys are healthy and happy and excited by all the Christmas lights and Santa Claus and snow and fires in the fireplace and new songs to sing… I’m in a good place this year. I’m just so thankful.
I have a husband who does things like get out in the snowy mess this morning to make sure that the kids who get to school early in the morning (because their parents drop them off on their way to work) could get in to the building to call for a ride back home instead of having to walk and then pulled three cars out of snowdrifts. When he came home at about 9:30 this morning, I felt like I should sew a big “S” on the front of his shirt. I have a husband who not only lets me close the door to our bedroom from 8:00-9:00 on Thursday nights so that I can watch Grey’s Anatomy uninterrupted, but five minutes into the show he brings me a bowl of chili (that he has been cooking all day) and a drink! I mean, how much better does it get, I ask you?! A few weeks ago, Drew found out that one of the custodians at his school had no electricity in her house (with three kids). He didn’t think twice about buying the supplies and, on his own time, replacing and updating the electrical work so that it would pass inspection and the electric company would turn it back on. God has given him so many gifts and I’m so thankful that he’s teaching the boys to use their gifts to serve others.
I’m so thankful that Canon’s life was saved with Jordan’s healthy liver. The reality of what we’ve been through makes what may have seemed like small moments actually unbelievable answers to prayer. Conversations between me and Canon, like when I had put him back into his bed three times and I saw him in the hallway again – I pointed to his room and sternly said, “Canon, get back into your bed.” He looked at the ground and shuffled his feet around; then he held my leg and looked up at me and said, “Mommy, my feet are not working.” Or like today when he woke up from his nap and Creed was still asleep. If he said it once, he said it ten times in thirty minutes, “Mommy, I need to go get Creed.” Try as I might to entertain him, he wanted his brother. I left Canon reading a book in the living room and went to rinse out some dishes. Three or four minutes later I realized that I wasn’t hearing him talking to himself as usual. I turned, and sure enough, Creed’s door was wide open. I walked down the hall and heard two happy voices back and forth. When I walked in, Canon had already passed Creed about six books through the rails of his crib and was on his way with more. Creed was squealing with each new arrival. Or like every night when I tuck him into bed. His latest favorite bedtime book is Goodnight Moon, which he can quote mostly by himself. Tonight, after I read each page, he would affirm me with a head nod and an “Mm-hmm, yeah.” I had a hard time not laughing as our story went kind of like this-
Me: In the great green room there was a telephone and a red balloon and a picture of…
Canon: Yeah, mm-hmm.
Me: The cow jumping over the moon
Canon: Yeah.
Me: And there were three little bears sitting on chairs
Canon: Mm-hmm, yeah.
Me: And there were two little kittens…
Canon: AND A PAIR OF MITTENS! Mm-hmm, yeah.
I can just see me begging him when he’s seventeen years old to sit down and read Goodnight Moon with me for old times’ sake!
Canon has started consciously trying to imitate other people or animals. He likes to crawl around and meow like a cat. Oh sure, I play it up big time – I kneel down and egg him on with “Oh what a sweet little kitty cat! Can I pet you kitty cat? Do you need some milk little kitty?...” (At that point lately Creed wants in on it, too, and he’ll crawl to me meowing, too!) The other day he was making noises while he was playing and, after repeating a particular sound, suddenly popped up and said, “Mommy, I sound like Blue!” (the dog from Blue’s Clues) Then tonight while he was eating at the table I asked him, “Is that yogurt yummy?” He nodded and answered, “It’s yummy, yummy, in my tummy!” Then he paused for a minute and said, “Mommy, I sound like MamaLu!” I guess MamaLu said that to him while they stayed with the boys a couple of weekends ago!
I’m so thankful that all of us have Creed. His smile absolutely makes my heart melt. He scrunches up his nose and smiles at me with his beautiful teeth. He lays his head on my shoulder even if he’s not sleepy, just to let me know that he needs me, that he loves me. He recently put two words together for the first time without prompting – “Night, night, Daddy!” We just cooed all over him! Fifteen months and he now says all kinds of things – “hold you”, “okay”, “get down”, and “love you” are the newest ones. I love so many things about Creed. I love that he puts his arms around Canon a lot and chases him down to give him a kiss. I love that his favorite place in the whole house is in the refrigerator – he’d crawl up in there and be happy for hours I’m quite sure! I love that he sometimes watches his feet when he ‘runs’ down the hall, almost like he’s amazed that they can move so fast, of course sometimes this causes him to forget that the hallway doesn’t last forever and he’ll head-butt something. I love that he’s sensitive. If I look crossly at him and firmly say “No,” oftentimes he’ll bury his face in the floor and cry. Of course, some of those times he’ll repeat the offense immediately and we’ll have to repeat the whole process! I love that he’s so proud of the bubbles that he blows in the bathtub. He will endlessly put almost his whole face in the water, blow a big breath of bubbles and then pop up clapping and cheering with water dripping from his eyelashes!
Realizing how blessed I am, this year especially, I committed to do something I’ve never done before. The other day at the mall, I was rushing the boys somewhere when out of the corner of my eye I saw the Angel Tree. It’s a Christmas tree with paper angels hanging on it with names of children whose families can not afford to give them any Christmas presents. They’re probably everywhere these days. Ashamedly, I can’t say that I’ve ever stopped at one before this week. But something drew me over. My eye froze on one particular angel that said “Girl: Alexus – 5” It listed her one wish: a baby doll, and then her clothes and shoe sizes. Tears came to my eyes as I realized that Amberly would have been 5 this Christmas; she would have probably wanted a new baby doll. It didn’t take me long to decide to take that angel home. When I told Drew what I had committed us to do, he was excited. We started tonight. For the first time ever, we shopped the Barbie and baby doll aisle tonight at Walmart and picked some things out of the Girls’ section of clothes. I don’t why I hadn’t thought of it before, but I really believe it will be so good for us. It’s a positive way for us to honor the missing piece of our puzzle. It was a really good feeling. Both of us are ready to make it a family tradition to find Amberly’s Christmas angel.
As a closing note of thanksgiving, I want to say thank you to all of you who celebrated with us this week. A year ago… wow. Thanks not only for what you did for us a year ago, but what you’re still doing today. Thank you for loving us, for praying for us, for living with us, and learning with us.
God bless,
Chandra
Psalm 118:21
I will give you thanks, for you answered me;
you have become my salvation.