Chandra's Journal
August 20, 2006
I know I’ll need to backtrack later and talk about Creed’s birthday and the last days of summer, but right now I can only think about Jordan.
I’ve had a copy of the DVD from his memorial service since May. I knew that I wanted it and was glad to finally have it, but I have managed to come up with excuses not to watch it for several months now. But, as I have been emailing back and forth between Jordan’s mom and my dad trying to decide what would be the best way to honor Jordan on Canon’s website, I knew the time was coming when I would have to just take a deep breath and really concentrate on learning more about the little boy who saved Canon’s life. So when Daddy sent me the link to check out the video clips of Jordan before we posted them online, I decided I couldn’t make any more excuses.
I won’t pretend like I know him now, not like his family and friends do. But, as Canon’s mom, I do feel a very unique connection to him. I found myself looking at the dates at the bottom of the pictures – some when Canon was about a month old, before we had any idea there was something wrong with him, others on September 13, 2005, when I had taken Canon and Creed down to Austin to visit. We were right there. Probably within 15 miles of each other – both oblivious to anything that would take place on the weekend of November 28th. Jordan was in school that day, I suppose. Canon spent the morning watching PBS and playing with his Nana’s house toys. Two completely innocent, completely loved boys, just living the way they know how.
When you watch the video clips of Jordan (which I highly recommend, but you might want to have some tissue and some quiet time if you’re personally invested in this story at all), you will notice two things about his demeanor especially. Number one, his eyes. Jordan’s eyes immediately give away his eagerness about life. In the clips, I watched him climbing, building, fishing, swimming, riding, and exploring life in all manners. It’s no wonder he has such an excitement about him; every day was a new adventure. I hope that Canon learns about the world like Jordan did, by experience. The second thing you will notice about Jordan is his smile. In our new house, Jordan still has a special shelf where we keep a framed picture of him, so we see his smile in our home daily. Every time I see it, my heart melts. It’s the most contagious smile I’ve ever seen. And when I watched the videos today, I realized that even with tears were streaming down my face, I could not help but smile back at him.
Jordan,
We can’t wait for the day that we can wrap our arms around you and tell you what an important part of our family you are. We think about you every day. We make every effort we can to protect the perfect liver that, in turn, is protecting Canon’s life even today. May God continue to comfort your mother when her arms ache for you, your father in the moments when the day to day is unbearable without you, your brother as he struggles to make sense of a cruel world, and everyone who loved you unconditionally. May God give us all even a small taste of the perfect peace that you experience every day, and bring us all to where you are, someday soon.
We love you,
Chandra, Drew, Canon, and Creed
Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven.
Matthew 18:4