Chandra's Journal

February 10, 2006

I wish I had a better update on Drew’s condition. His leg looks just barely better, but he’s still in a lot of pain. He still can’t stand on it and still does not want to eat much. Jell-o. That’s about it.

I feel pretty frustrated right now with the slow progress. I need my husband to be well, and I just still don’t feel like he’s turned the corner, you know? We both feel a little bit spoiled to the care that Canon received at TCH. Dr. Karpen would sit down and talk to us for an hour sometimes, just to make sure that we didn’t have any unanswered questions and that all of our concerns were heard and fears relieved. Anyway…

Drew’s having a hard time being away from the boys for so long. I picked up the pictures from Creed’s photo session and took them up to the hospital tonight to show him. He wanted me to tell him all the little things they have been doing. I told him that Canon has started saying “Chandra”. He heard Dane and Dayton calling me to show me something, and decided he would try it, too. He’s just done it a few times, and I don’t really respond in an effort to extinguish the practice, but it is pretty funny! I told Drew that last night was my first successful attempt at dual bathing. Creed has officially graduated from the baby tub and can sit in a bath seat in the big tub with Canon. Definitely a time saver for Mom! They were so cute in there last night. I said, “Let’s sing a song!” and they both just sat in the water looking at me and smiling, waiting for me to start a tune. Seeing both of their sparkly blue eyes watching me from the tub… admiring, anticipating… I’ll never forget that image; I wanted it to last forever.

I have said before and I’ll say it a million times… I don’t know how single parents do it! This week I have discovered several things that I just can’t do without Drew. Grocery shopping, for one. I always go when Drew is home playing with one or both of the boys. Same thing goes for cleaning the house. I just can’t do it unless the boys are occupied doing something else, and without Drew to help entertain (read: contain) Canon, he just follows me around while I clean. Every toy that I pick up and put in the toy basket, he realizes he wants to play with again. He especially likes to follow me around while I sweep and try to walk through the pile. Taking the trash out to the alley… I just can’t leave them in the house alone.

I did manage to take Canon and Creed to Dr. Young’s office on Wednesday because Creed has had a runny nose for about a week and I can’t get rid of it. Canon has had one now and then, but not as bad. So I called the office and told them I needed Dr. Young to look at Creed, but that I didn’t want to bring Canon in the office (waiting room germs, you know). I was amazed at how they bent over backwards to help me. First of all, Dr. Young’s wife, Dana, met me in the parking lot at my appointment time and took Creed in herself to see Dr. Young so that I could stay in the car with Canon. She came out once with the clipboard asking me about other symptoms, fever, and what not. Then a few minutes later, she brought him back out to me and told me that his ears are fine and they did a nasal culture we should get results on in a couple days. I mentioned to her that Canon’s nose had been a little bit yucky, too. So she went back in to tell Dr. Young. A minute later, Misty, one of his nurses, came out to our car with a swab to get a sample from Canon! She came out laughing about our “curbside service”. “Just call us Appleby’s!” she said. I was beyond impressed at the measures they all took to take care of us. Everything short of an old-fashioned house call, which I’m sure he would do if we needed him.

So, got a call from Misty this morning that both of the boys’ nasal cultures came back positive for bacterial infection and they both need to be on antibiotic. Of course they do. That’s about par for the course. People have mentioned to me that I need to be sure and stay healthy. I can’t even imagine being sick right now. I already feel like I’m walking around on autopilot. It’s just not an option for me.

This week we received a very special gift in the mail. Jordan’s mom sent me a Willow Tree figure called “Heart of Gold”. It’s a little boy with a wide, confident stance holding a gold heart in his hands. She had written me earlier, telling me that everything about it reminded her of Jordan, from his hair to the way he’s standing. Ever since she told me she was going to send us one, I’d been anxiously waiting. When it arrived yesterday, I opened it with Canon on the couch with me. We took it out of the box very carefully and I said, “Look! Doesn’t he look like Jordan?” Canon took it in his hands and said, “Mm-hmm,” as he turned it over, studying it. I picked him up and carried him over to the shelves where I have a small collection of the Willow Tree figures. After looking for just a minute at the shelf where there are framed pictures of Amberly, Canon, and Creed, he placed the statue right next to his own picture and said, “Jordan”. I couldn’t imagine a better place for it.

Chandra Perkins