Chandra's Journal
December 14, 2005
11:50 PM
Busy day!
This morning Canon had another appointment at the hospital for lab draws and check-ins with the doctors. He has become very shy around people, especially if they’re wearing white coats. He tries to get as close to me as possible, while still keeping an eye on whoever it is. I find myself conducting a case study in childhood learning theories, digging deep into my psyche, or wherever I stashed that Psychology degree. It didn’t take Canon long to associate doctors with unpleasantness. Even gloves… when I put gloves on to flush his central line with heparin or crush a pill that I’m not supposed to touch (because it can cause birth defects), Canon braces himself and winces, already expecting something painful. I hope that as the doctor and hospital visits start decreasing, he might start un-learning some of the anxiety.
The lab work looks good, we heard later this afternoon. His Prograf levels have become too high, so they’re lowering that dose. He started on 6 ml, then 8, then 10, then 12, now we’re back to 8 ml twice a day. We thought they were going to get us in to surgery in the morning to take out his central line, but they decided to wait until Monday morning. It’s a fast procedure, but they do have to completely sedate him. We have another appointment Friday to check blood levels again. It’s been every other weekday since we were discharged. Now I understand why we have to live here.
When we arrived back at the apartment, Mom said that Ryan (my brother) had just called and he and Elana were on their way from College Station for a short visit. They brought Canon a teddy bear with a little “A&M” patch on his tummy and told him, “See, the bear has a new liver, too!” They couldn’t stay long, but stayed for Mom’s chicken soup (which was perfect in the pouring-down rain) and peanut butter balls (which she expressly made for me… but I shared!). It was great to see them and we’ll look forward to seeing at least Ryan again for Christmas.
Canon, Creed, and I took a nap after they left. I don’t think Mom did. It’s weird; it’s like she’s some kind of mythical cooking and cleaning fairy. I don’t ever actually SEE her slaving away, so she must be doing it while we’re asleep I guess. I wake up and everything’s spotless and it smells like dinner or my Bird of Paradise candle that she brought me. And she’s just sitting on the couch reading her Bible or watching some old movie on TV, like she’s been there all day. I, on the other hand, want CREDIT when I do that stuff! When I cook at home, I wait until Drew can SEE me and I might throw some extra flour on my face so he’ll say, “Wow, I can tell you’ve really been working hard on this!” or something great like that. Or if I clean while he’s gone, I’ll say, “Whew, I’m tired! I’ve been cleaning and cleaning and cleaning!” I know… pathetic.
After naptime, we had more company! Yea! This time it was Aunt Carol, her friend Mary Meyers, my cousin Dixie, and Dixie’s three kids Isaac, Ethan, and Jaylie. The kids all played and we got to just watch all of them and visit. Aunt Carol brought Canon a new Nemo, one of those really squishy ones; Dixie brought him a wooden puzzle with ocean animals, and Mary brought us homemade and very picturesque gingerbread boy (and girl!) cookies. They couldn’t stay long either, which made it even more meaningful that they would load up three kids under 5 and drive here from San Antonio just for the day!
After they left, Creed took another nap and then we went out to eat at Luby’s. Canon was sitting in a high chair on the end of our table and was busy having a hilarious toddler conversation volley with the very chatty little boy in a high chair on the end of the table next to us. The other boy was a little bit older, maybe 3, so he would smile at Canon and say, “You’re a silly boy!” and Canon would just laugh and laugh. Mom and I were cracking up! Canon would try to take a bite and watch him at the same time, at which point the other little boy looked at him and would tell him, “Don’t put it in your nose! Ha, ha, ha!” And Canon would touch his nose and laugh. Classic!
Hard to believe that he had the transplant only 16 days ago. Though it’s all I think about every day, it already seems to be a distant memory for him. Thank God. To think that 17 days ago I was still constantly worrying about whether his old liver would hold out until he received the perfect one that would give him the rest of his life. It’s unbelievable to watch him now. He doesn’t yet have the strength to stand up from the floor without pulling on something, but he did take a few steps from the coffee table to Mom today, about four feet! That’s what he was doing right before we got the call and I worried that it would be a long time before he would be doing that again. Even though he’s still pretty small (about the 15th percentile) and he’s weak from the surgery and the hospital stay, I see him getting stronger and stronger every day and I know in my heart that he will be running and jumping and wrestling with Creed (who rolled over today!) in no time.
Thank you God!
Chandra