The three of us were sitting in the living room and Canon was on my lap eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal pieces out of his little bowl and loving it (too bad he won’t be having any more until he’s 30). All of the sudden I noticed he was choking on a piece. This is not the first time he has had trouble swallowing something, but always before it just takes a few seconds to get it down, he’ll then cough a bit, he may or may not cry a little, and then it’s over. But not tonight. I held him in front of me waiting for him to cough, getting more frantic by the seconds that felt like hours. Drew was watching, too, and it was like something went off inside of us the moment we knew we couldn’t wait anymore. I just yelled, “Drew!” Drew simultaneously reached a finger in his mouth trying to get the cereal out but couldn’t get it. At the same moment Canon’s face started turning purple, Drew grabbed him up and began the Heimlich maneuver.
It was watching this that made my heart scream with fear and my mind race with visions of our life without Canon in it. In many ways, I felt like I was back in the NICU with Amberly when the staff would have to give her manual breaths with a bag when her oxygen levels would start sinking. It’s a view nobody wants into that surreal space between life and death. After probably five thrusts on Canon’s abdomen, we heard him start trying to cry again and Drew stopped. Even the cry was different than anything I’ve heard from him yet. It was genuine fear. His eyes were wide and he looked around like whatever happened had caused him to forget where he was. Drew begin to console him saying, “It’s okay now, Daddy’s got you.” He laid his head on Drew’s chest and just cried, frozen with fear.
I sunk down and cried, too. Knowing in my head that everything was okay now, I began to process how close we had been to Canon’s last breath. All the feelings that emerged watching Drew do the Heimlich on him now had a chance to escape. I felt equally scared to death at the thoughts that had surfaced as I did inexpressibly relieved that Drew was there. What would I have done??!! Could I have done the same thing had I been alone with Canon??!! I know how in my head, but would I have been in time?? I have thanked God a thousand times in the last thirty minutes that Canon’s okay and that I have a husband who is quick and confident… and home. The simple truth is that God gave Drew the strength and presence to save Canon’s life tonight. It’s no little thing, especially at our house.
I realize this is more of a journal entry for me than useful news for you who might be reading these; forgive me. You see, I did write this one primarily for me. For catharsis, if you will. I would like to look back long after the transplant is over and remember the myriad of experiences and feelings I felt in the midst of all this.
As far as news, Canon’s next appointment will be with Dr. Higgins, his GI in Lubbock, on August 3rd. They will do the same blood work they have been doing to monitor the progression of the disease, and Dr. Higgins will want to actually feel the liver to estimate whether it is growing at any significant rate.
Please be praying both for that appointment in Lubbock and the fact that that will be close to the time that my doctor will want to take the stitches out of my cervix and take me off the terbutaline pump I’ve been on to control contractions. After that happens, we should be prepared to have this baby any day! I think we might even have a name for him now!
This next weekend will be very exciting… Dane and Dayton McIntosh (just finished 3rd and 1st grade) will be setting up a lemonade stand for Canon’s fund at the Walmart on Bell Street on Saturday, the 30th. These kids have such huge hearts and have loved Canon like a brother. If you can, please come and buy some lemonade!!! Then on Sunday, the 31st, the Mitchell/Hairston life group, along with other helpers, are hosting a fundraiser luncheon after church for Canon’s campaign. I know tickets are being sold at church currently and reservations are being taken by Rhonda McIntosh (see the Upcoming Events page for her email if you’re interested in coming). Anyway, it will be a great kickoff weekend for Canon’s campaign! We’re so anxious for a big success!
Chandra